guilty

Your Honour, i plead guilty

guilty to the charge of having an innocent heart

guilty of living in a world that is a world apart from her

guilty of having an innocent heart that makes all the difference

guilty as charged

wilfred owen

i feel compelled to blog about this, after dissecting and disassembling Wilfred Owen's poems for two straight nights.

i must say his poetry has truly won me over, in ways a classroom and teacher never will. one must really read and understand his poems to truly appreciate how powerful and emotionally impactful his poems were/are. here we are, almost a hundred years since the poems were written, yet some of the ideas brought up are still as relevant as they were when first written.

it is scary how much emotion and anger can be packed into 40 lines of writing.

and ame's notes are extremely useful. i would really just give up and shred the book without those notes. thank goodness i know her

your guardian angel

"Your Guardian Angel - Red Jumpsuit Apparatus"

When I see your smile
Tears run down my face I can't replace
And now that I'm strong I have figured out
How this world turns cold and it breaks through my soul
And I know I'll find deep inside me I can be the one

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

It's okay. It's okay. It's okay.
Seasons are changing
And waves are crashing
And stars are falling all for us
Days grow longer and nights grow shorter
I can show you I'll be the one

I will never let you fall (let you fall)
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all (through it all)
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

Cuz you're my, you're my, my, my true love, my whole heart
Please don't throw that away
Cuz I'm here for you
Please don't walk away and
Please tell me you'll stay, stay

Use me as you will
Pull my strings just for a thrill
And I know I'll be okay
Though my skies are turning gray

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

bleh

somehow the title at the top of the explorer window fails to satisfactorily reassure me nowadays.

somehow i find myself stranded.

somehow the world seems to have progressed and left me behind on an island.

somehow i don't think i'd be too unhappy if a fissure opened up right now under the school and took the school building with it.

politics

humans are inherently self serving, no matter how many 'nation over community, society above self' (i actually remembered that from my primary school exercise book) messages are sent out. people will instinctively put their own interests ahead of those of the people around them. and so there is a problem. because although there are some people who couldn't care less about personal glory, there aren't enough.

it's like the English football team. they have star players, but they lost to Croatia because they made the mistake of fielding their 11 best players. what should be done is to field the best team of eleven players, and that's what Italy did in the world cup, what Brazil did in Copa. sometimes star players are not the key to everything. sometimes it is the outsiders, fighting for their chance, that can change the course of history. think john o'shea.

and it's all the more frustrating when you do everything within your power to fight for a place, and it never gets anywhere in the end

connectors

'This is what Connectors are like...They are people whom all of us can reach in only a few steps because, for one reason or another, they manage to occupy many different worlds and subcultures and niches...their ability to span many different worlds is a function of something intrinsic to their personality, some combination of curiosity, self-confidence, sociability, and energy.'

-Malcolm Gladwell, The Tipping Point

you're beautiful

James Blunt - "You're Beautiful"

My life is brilliant.

My life is brilliant.
My love is pure.
I saw an angel.
Of that I'm sure.
She smiled at me on the subway.
She was with another man.
But I won't lose no sleep on that,
'Cause I've got a plan.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw your face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.

Yeah, she caught my eye,
As we walked on by.
She could see from my face that I was,
Flying high,
And I don't think that I'll see her again,
But we shared a moment that will last till the end.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw your face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
There must be an angel with a smile on her face,
When she thought up that I should be with you.
But it's time to face the truth,
I will never be with you.

dying

i feel so dead. my whole body is like rotting away as i type this

even when i played soccer on friday, i could feel things like my ankle beginning to cause problems

can't be good